the things I shouldn’t tell you.

This probably goes against some rule of blogging that is out there .  But I haven’t been able to shake the idea of doing, so here goes.  Things I shouldn’t tell you.  Some weird oddities mixed with things that I totally know about myself that I need to let God refine.

1.  I bite my nails.

2. I have control issues.

Haiti is trying to break me of this slow but sure but it’s a hard and painful process.  I still slightly hyperventilate when all my Plans A-F get thrown out the window.

3. I care way too much about what people think about me.

I have to work on this one.  It still makes me break out in hives if I know someone may not like me. I’m slowly realizing that sometimes being myself, not worrying about it all, and standing up for who I am is better than making everyone happy.  Ahh, still some hard lessons in front of me for this one.

4. My heart still breaks that Lena doesn’t have any siblings.

I need to work on embracing our life as a family of three but I still have a gut check when I see siblings playing together. Totally wish she had that.

5. I curse when I am really mad.

6. I’m an awkward hugger.

I have issues with displays of affection, it’s weird. If someone is committed to hugging and goes for it, I’m all in. If it’s this weird, I don’t know what to do thing, then I totally am this weird awkward side hugger or just don’t do anything.

7. I get frustrated and am short with people.

Thankful for friends and family that put up with me and please know that I am trying to work on this one:)

8. I roll my eyes like a teenage girl.

9. I have a hard time with being in the “now”

10. I need to read my Bible more.

Sounds cheesy but it’s totally something I struggle with. I have a dream where my perfect day would go something like waking up early, being with God for an hour, starting my day refreshed and it usually looks more like me squeezing in 20 minutes when I can.  Need to work on this.

11. The future scares me.

I need to have more faith and total reliance in how God works it all out.

 

I’m sure there are more but that is enough to hopefully not scare you away;)