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5.18.13

this Haiti life: Flag Day

Today is Flag Day here.  Haiti’s flag’s origin is tightly linked to a history of struggle for freedom.  Today there will be parades and parties to celebrate it throughout the country.

On May 18, 1803, in the city of Arcahaie, not far from Port-au-Prince, they agreed on an official flag, with blue and red bands placed vertically. Blue and red placed vertically respectively. A lady named Catherine Flon sewed Haiti’s first flag.

On Independence Day however, January 1st 1804, the flag was modified again. The Blue and Red bands were placed horizontally this time, with the blue band on top of the red band. This was the first flag of the independent republic. In 1805, shortly after Jean-Jacques Dessalines proclaimed himself emperor, the Haitian flag color was changed to black and red bands placed vertically respectively. After the emperor’s death, in 1806, the country will be divided into two republics for 14 years. Henri Christophe, in the northern part kept the flag that Dessalines used.

In the south and the western part of the country, Alexandre Petion went back to 1804′s flag that was blue and red only this time he added the white squared portion that included the country arms and the famous phrase “L’UNION FAIT LA FORCE“, meaning that through unity we find strength.

That flag was in use until 1964 when Papa Doc Duvalier brought back the black and red flag of Dessalines and added a modified version of the arms of the Republic.

On February 25 1986, after the fall of Baby Doc and the Duvalier regime, the people requested that the red and blue flag be brought back. The constitution of 1987 describes the new flag in these terms:

 The emblem of the Haitian Nation shall be a flag with the following description:

a) Two (2) equal-sized horizontal bands: a blue one on top and a red one underneath.

b) The coat of arms of the Republic shall be placed in the center on a white square.

c) The coat of arms of the Republic will be a Palm tree surmounted by the liberty cap and under the palms a trophy with the legend: In Union there is Strength.

That is the flag used until today.

(source: http://haitianflag.tripod.com/id1.html)

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5.17.13

living Haitian

I sat in the early morning light on a public transportation bus headed to Port au Prince, the big city.  Me and my little girl the only blans (white people) in sight.  He put his head through the door and automatically you knew he was going to ask for something.

I sat and waited, expecting what would happen with most buses of blans.  We would have shooed him off, saying quotes under our breath from When Helping Hurts.  Perhaps patting ourselves on the back about a job well done of saying no to handouts.

But then the unexpected happened.  I sat there while he told everyone his story and asked for money.  How is is almost blind now and can’t work.  He said a prayer for our trip and people, Haitian’s, started putting a coin, 5 goudes, into his hand.  One by one as they could give.  Nothing more was expected of me because I was a blan.  I have never before felt so included and in awe in this culture.

I have spent the last week staying with Haitian’s in their homes and largely living as close to their lives as possible.  It was harder than I thought and at the same time, beautiful.  You know those times you look back and realize that you really had no idea.  That was what this week was for me.  I realized I had touted living in a remote village as “living Haitian” when really that was a big joke.  Because back then I had an organization with access to money, a generator to run, money to live on and get what we needed, constant communication with the States.  Sure we did without and lived super simple but we didn’t have any needs not met.  And truly, even now, the reality is that as long as I have a passport I will never truly be able to really understand. But this week got me a little closer to seeing it.

One night as I lay in a cinderblock moldy room, pee can beside our bed, swatting at mosquitos and sweating like I was running a marathon I realized that I could leave.  I could go tomorrow to a hotel if I wanted.  I could return to the US.  Our hosts, who gave up their one bed for us even though I argued with them not to, didn’t have that luxury.

And Lena? Oh my Lena.  I don’t really have the words.  Because she is what I wish I could be.  She jumps into this life with no regards.  Once she gets comfortable, she will joke with the best of them in fluent Kreyol and have a room full of Haitian’s in stitches within minutes.  I woke up one morning to find her laying in the floor in their made up bed just laughing hilariously about something with them.  She doesn’t think twice about peeing in a bucket one night to jumping in a pool the next.  She just takes life as it comes.  I’m forever grateful for her.  They were all doing pedicures with each other so of course Lena jumped in on the action.

This past week has taught me so much. It gave me a new appreciation for Haitian’s and living here. It made me realize that I have no idea, and probably never will. It made me realize the strength of Haiti and question how much NGO’s really need to be involved. It made me a stronger advocate for business, social entrepreneur, adventures like Rebuild Globally. It made me realize that I’m a spoiled brat. It rid me of some of my fears of Haiti and my fears of myself, because it pushed me beyond my normal limits. This week, living Haitian, changed me.

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May 17, 2013 - 11:58 pm

Jillian - I live in Haiti, quite comfortably in Haiti. I live inside a compound, safe from any troubles and with all of my needs met. I have learned to complain every time my fan turns off for more than 30 mins because the inverter needs recharged. It’s pathetic. I’m about to move out of the compound, however, and into a little neighborhood. My husband and I will be the only blans in our community. And you know what, I honestly can’t wait! I’ve lived in Haiti for 2 1/2 years, but something has been hindering my relationship with the people. And I think it is because I am still the big missionary that lives in the tall apartment with the fancy 24/7 electricity and nice furniture behind the gate at the end of the day. I’ve separated my self from the people, and they are smart enough to notice.
Thanks for your blog. It made me excited for my transition. I don’t think I’ll be using the pee bucket anytime soon, but if I have too, you have at least given me the courage to know that it is possible!
Jillian
http://www.jilliansmissionayconfessions.com

May 18, 2013 - 7:15 am

Amy - This is a beautiful post. I so pray for more “blan” to get outside their walls.

My travel buddy and I always use public transportation, hangout with Haitians, and never have interpreters. All of this unintentional because we didnt have the money for our own car, money for fancy hangouts, or to pay a translator. You want to know how many scary situations we have been in? Just a couple and nothing super scary. You want to know how many Haitians have helped us when we needed it, or taught us something new? More than I could ever count.

5.13.13

Haiti family pictures: maternity

Over the past year or so I have had the pleasure to document some amazing families, organizations, and people here in Haiti. I’m super behind in blogging any of them so wanted to start today with an amazing family that just recently grew to 4 (congrats!!!). Before they headed stateside for the delivery we did some family maternity pictures in Port au Prince. So honored to capture this moment in time for them:)

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5.10.13

What God looks like from here.

I’ve started 3 blog posts now on totally different trains of thought and today they all merged together in my head. I’m a name person. I love names, I love when they have symbolism, I love when they get you thinking. And when I know the name of a blog post in my head, it’s usually a good thing. Today it just came to me, clear as a bell, as my thoughts converged and started gaining clarity. What God looks like from here.

I haven’t known what to say really. Not that I don’t have anything to say but I’m just not sure how much I want to share, what of all of it to share, and so on. So I have been quiet on the personal side; one day pledging I’m never blogging again and the next day knowing, in my heart of hearts, that I have been called to put forth my junk so that others can know they aren’t alone. I’m still wrangling between the two extremes but today I wanted to tell you what God looks like from here.

I’m a weirdo Christian. I have never fit too nicely in the traditional American church. Maybe because I make people uncomfortable-who knows. Because the reality is that I didn’t learn about God in a building doing crafts in the basement-I learned about God by watching Him provide for my family, by watching miracles happen in the Phillipines and China, by sitting under a mango tree listening to stories from the Bible read as if you were there. It’s the same way I feel about astronomy-I didn’t sit and learn how the stars were placed, I went and took walks on the beach at night with my dad when I was 11 and saw them as he pointed out the constellations. I felt the power of millions of stars staring at you in a place where there was no electricity. I didn’t need to look in a book to learn about them, I felt it, they were real to me, they moved me, they gave me childlike wonder. To this day, I stop in awe under a ceiling full of stars.

That is what God is to me. He isn’t something I learned- He is someone I know that is real to me. I feel him. He is real to me. He moves me. He gives me childlike wonder.

So the reality is that life handed me lots of stumbling blocks and I’m not perfect. I’ve been shocked at how many people have eluded to “staying on the path”. I know they are saying it out of love and concern because they don’t know where I am emotionally but I sat there the other day a little dumbfounded. You see, I sin daily-as much as I try not to. And I will continue to. And I know that every other Christian I know sins daily, as much as they try not to (ok ok…maybe you are the one exception;) ).

If anything these last couple months have allowed me to wrestle with God and learn more about Him and His love for me. Like being on the same path and walk that you had been, tripping, and realizing that He is there to help you stand and dust off. That is what God looks like from here. Someone who I don’t really think I understand how much He loves us. How much He loves me. Someone who loves us all regardless of the daily screwing up we do.

I read this in my devotional today: “Instead of floundering in the past, release your mistakes to Me. Look to Me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design. Because you are human, you will continue to make mistakes. Thinking that you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride. Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weaknesses. Best of all, failure highlights your dependence on Me. I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes. Trust me, and watch to see what I will do.” -Jesus Calling

So that is what God looks like from here. Someone who loves me more than I know and has the power to weave beauty out of this broken life.

This is a fishing net that was laying on the beach the other day next to boats, awaiting the next days work. I took the picture because I liked the texture but as I was looking through for a picture for this post it kind of became symbolic. It looks a disheveled mess but what it really is is string woven together by a local and its not being used for it’s purpose.

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5.8.13

Book Review and Quotes: Madame Dread

Lately I have been reading a ton of books. Like, really. I’m almost fresh out of them and may be having a bit of a anxiety attack on what the heck I’m going to do at night with no book. While I’m working on my breathing routine to calm myself, I thought I would share some recent favorite books and quotes. Ah, I love a good quote.

Madame Dread is written by Kathie Klarreich and is one of the better books I have read on Haiti because it’s engaging, it’s her story, and in the midst of it you learn so much about the culture, vodou, and history.

I think the thing I enjoyed most about this book, especially reading it in the last month, is that it was like finding a friend. Someone who loves Haiti for who it is, not for who they want it to be or how it can help them.

Kathie moved to Haiti and soon, by necessity, became a journalist as history unfolded around her in Haiti with tons of political strife. This book is her story of learning the culture and it’s vodou foundation, falling in love, dealing with civil strife, and the realities of Haiti. If you come to Haiti or are interested in it, I recommend it to learn a bit about the culture and history….and meet a really cool person who loves Haiti;)

Some favorite quotes:

“I hoped to find the answers to the questions I couldn’t stop asking myself. Why had Haiti embraced me when it repelled others? How was it that the things that scared off others charmed and attracted me?” -Madame Dread

“The spell that Haiti spread over me was not easy to define. It produced a physical and mental metamorphosis. My body hardened, as if it was fortifying itself to fend off foreign elements. I looked at the world differently, too. I was still the same Kathie, born to privilege, but for the first time in my life I was confronting the elements. Haiti didn’t have a comfort zone I was familiar with and challenged me in a language I didn’t understand.”

“But truth had nothing to do with how events unfolded in Haiti any more than facts had to do with popular perception”

“Despite the country’s inconveniences, frustrations, even dangers, when I return, I put them all aside. I don’t pretend they aren’t there, but after all these years they are just part of the Haiti that I fell in love with, a country full of unpredictable flaws and wonders”

“My days in Haiti are never boring and the emotions they evoke twist and torque me, stretching me to be a better person. I an infinitely more tolerant, calmer, and not as quick to judge. Haiti has taught me that there is not only one way to look at a situation, but infinite ways to create a solution, with humor and devotion, heart and determination as key ingrediants.

Haiti brings out the best in me; the gentler, softer side, the part of me that allows circumstances, rather than my predetermined ideas, to dictate. It strips away all the trivialities to uncover that one kernel of truth I need to guide me in my decision making. It fosters community while opening up the door to be an individual. I step off the plane, inhale the earthy mountains, and my entire body relaxes.”

_______________________

Help us get some wheels as we currently are a little stranded without a car!  Head over here to be part of the Wheel Project!

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